Dear Heavy Table Subscribers and Friends,
Cheers and welcome to the Heavy Table's annual Minnesota State Fair food and drink roundup!
Yesterday our team of a dozen writers, photographers, illustrators, and miscellaneous hangers-on barnstormed a collection of the best (and worst) plus new (and classic) Minnesota State Fair edibles and drinkables.
We're proud to bring you all the details: warts-and-all assessments, lovely original art and photography, and the kind of context that only comes with a decade plus of obsessive culinary masochism.
There are years when we struggle to find a theme that ties together our wandering through the cornucopia of fried, sauced up, and/or powdered sugar-bedecked Fair fare, but this year the theme jumped right out at us.
It is this:
"THAT'S FOURTEEN FREAKIN' DOLLARS?"
We're Fair veterans. We know that food and labor prices have been rising, and that everyone's got to make a buck to keep the celebration alive. With that said: The sheer number of times we got a value prospect that staggered our imaginations, made us livid, or legitimately confused us was higher than in any preceding year.
To pick on one item at random: The (plain) Korean-style corn dog at Chan's Corn Dog, which was neither particularly great nor particularly large. We benchmark Korean corn dog prices against the excellent ones you get at CrunCheese in Asia Mall, which is to say $3.50-6 per dog.
The dog at Chan's may have been larger, but it wasn't quite as tasty and it was $12. Dress it up with toppings and that price accelerates to about $15.
Or take the Marco's Garden at Jammy Sammies by BRIM. A few small triangles of pita, farmer's cheese, a dollop of rhubarb jam, a half dozen grape-sized tomatoes sliced in half. An appetizer-sized experience. Fourteen dollars. For $7, it would have been a classy little palate cleanser for one. At $14, it felt extortionate. Again: Love the local food, the fresh flavors, the creative packaging. Absolutely hate hate hate the exchange of $14 for a light snack.
We saw this time and time again: higher quality (overall) than most years past, but typically small portions and some awfully high prices.
With that said: We know that your money, like your time, is in limited supply, so this year we're extra attentive to value prospect and will help you spot the bargains and tasty equal exchanges out there amid the minefield of $11 ice cream sodas and $10 doughnuts. It's never been easier to eat well at the Minnesota State Fair, but it's never been harder to do it without going broke.
And for those of you who are paying subscribers - first of all, welcome and thank you for everything you do to keep us going. We can’t do this without you.
Second of all, if you want to flip to the end of this massive post, you can find one of the tastiest and most unexpected hits of the entire Fair. It doesn't really fit into any categories, but we can't possibly write this without mentioning it. Think of it as a secret track on a double album.
at your service,
James Norton and the Heavy Table Wrecking Crew
IN TODAY’S EDITION
Fried Fair Fare | James Norton
The Lunch Box | M.C. Cronin and WACSO
This or That | Jeanne Lakso
New Ice Cream | Stacy Brooks
Tradition With a Twist | Eli Radtke
State Fair Haikus | Amy Rea
The Pause That Refreshes | Louis Livingston-Garcia
Fresh Fair Fare | Stacy Brooks
The Portability Report | Amy Rea
What Would We Buy With Our Own Money? | Amy Rea
The Price of Progress | Eli Radtke
FACT-FINDING THE FRIED FAIR FARE
By James Norton
Here, presented from the best to the worst, you'll find a rundown of many of the Fair's newest and most controversial batter-fried and breaded edible treats.
Fried Bee-nana Pie | Sabino's Pizza Pies | $6 or $8 with ice cream
This was a bit of a shocker: a legitimate tour-de-force of a pie filled with Minnesota honey, fresh banana, and Biscoff cookie butter, battered and deep-fried. There's something about the nature of the batter that surrounds this thing that screams "STATE FAIR!!!" in the most joyful possible way: it's gleefully unhealthy and delicious, absolutely unapologetic, and contagiously fun. And the price is absurd, in the best way - it's a steal.
Buffalo Cheese Curd and Chicken Tacos | Richie's Cheese Curd Tacos | $14
At $7 a taco, these things aren't exactly cheap, but they skillfully pack a lot of flavor (and calories) into each unit, making them a remarkably smart buy. As per usual, Richie's fries up a lovely crispy/chewy taco shell, the cheese curds are beautifully seasoned (and in this case, nicely blasted with Buffalo style creamy heat), and the overall package is rich and satisfying.
Shroomy Calamari | The French Meadow Bakery and Cafe | $14
“Shroomy Calamari” is a preparation of deep-fried oyster mushrooms and it’s wonderful. Most pieces are small, crisp, and delicately seasoned. There is a little bit of heat and seasoning to these crunchy bites, making me think of cayenne pepper and black pepper. One large piece was more earthy mushroom than seasoning, and the mouthfeel wasn’t as crisp, but it was a nice surprise instead of a sad folly. The chipotle sauce is fine, but unnecessary.— Louis Livingston-Garcia
Deep Fried Ranch Dressing | Lulu's Public House | $12
If you can get Lulu's Deep Fried Ranch Dressing without waiting in line for 30 minutes - and we doubt that you'll be able to, thanks to all the "It Item" hype that they're received - they're not bad at all.
They effectively do the "crispy/crunchy exterior versus warm and gooey center" thing, they dip nicely into the accompanying hot honey, and they manage to straddle "fried," "herbed," "sweet," and "dairy" categories in a balanced and enjoyable way. But if there are 100 people ahead of you, pivot joyfully - there are plenty of other tasty bites at the Fair, and some even tastier.
Chan's Corn Dogs | Chan's Eatery | $12
There's really nothing wrong with this run-of-the-mill half mozzarella, half hot dog, all panko/mochi-battered thing-on-a-stick other than the price tag - at $12 for the plain version, it's about triple what you'd pay out in the world at large, without any gain in quality or fun.
Quesabirria Taquitos | Burrito Mercado | $16
Much like the Chan's Corn Dog, there's nothing terribly wrong with these crispy little fried tacos. They don't really have much character (nothing I'd associate with quesabirria, in particular) and they suffer for not coming with a tasty cup of consomme for dipping.
But they're reasonably crispy, nicely dressed and seasoned, and a substantial portion. I just wish they'd been real quesabirria tacos plus consomme, like the amazing stuff we got recently at Los Cactus on Central Avenue. If that had been the case, the $16 purchase price would've seemed reasonable in a Fair context. As is: a little bit dear.
Raging Ball | Herbivorous Butcher | $14
Billed as a sort of vegan cheeseburger situation, this deep fried sesame mochi ball with vegan cheese and vegan "burger" filling tastes very, very much - but not completely - unlike a cheeseburger.
The cheese isn't terribly "cheesy" - it's sort of somewhere between a potato and an agreeable edible mystery paste. The meat isn't real meaty. And the mochi sesame ball in no way whatsoever resembles a burger, unless you're willing to say sesame seed buns are defined mostly by the sesame seeds.
What the Raging Ball IS, by contrast, is something quite Dim Sum-y - it's really a bigass dumpling, and a pretty well-made one, at that. We would have really rallied behind this at a $8-10 price point, or if we'd gotten, say, three or four medium sized balls to make it more of a dim sum order, and less of a huge weird mystery ball that we all had to painstakingly analyze before we understood what we were eating. A weird miss. But not a complete miss.
Afro Poppers| Afro Deli | $6
Billed as "bite-sized pastries infused with an African blend of spices," these dour little nuggets came off more as the world's most expensive doughnut holes. Ours were fairly dry, and only faintly flavored with sweet spices and coconut flakes.
Deep Fried Halloumi | Holy Land | $10
Rack up another hashmark in the L column for the Mediterranean region - these bland little cheese triangles offer little more than grease, although the accompanying chili sauce at least serves up a bit of spicy heat. Thoroughly boring, and pricey to boot.
Blazing Greek Bites | Dino's | $8
These falafel-esque tots composed of chickpeas, roasted red peppers, scallions, and cayenne pepper go completely sideways as soon as you bite into them and experience their miserably soft and mealy texture.
But then: There's an unpleasant, almost bitter lingering aftertaste that stimulates your imagination and gets you talking. Baking soda? Under-ripe peppers? What went wrong here? A mediocre red pepper "hummus" dipping sauce doesn't save the day.
Ham and Pickle Roll Up on a Potato Skin | Route 66 Roadhouse Chicken | $8.75
Three tiny, leathery fried potato skins filled with the saddest, smallest, most school cafeteria-lookin' cubes of ham you've ever seen, plus scant-to-the-point-of-vanishing pickles and sour cream. It's like a poorly attended funeral in your mouth.
THE LUNCH BOX AND THE CASE FOR NOT-NEW FOODS
By M.C. Cronin
We’re sitting outdoors on wobbly red vinyl pedestal stools—the kind you’d find at any classic American diner—bellied up to counter under the awning of a simple wooden building in the middle of the Minnesota State Fair. Hordes of people with ketchup-and-mustard-slathered Pronto Pups wagging in their hands pass us by, not giving us a second glance.
The Heavy Table is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
We’re at The Lunch Box. And you’ve probably passed by it a million times too, on your way to the Kidway or some such other popular destination up Machinery Hill. It is distinctly old-school and unglamorous. The marquee with its ‘60s atomic bubbles is of another era and advertises simple foods: burgers, fries, hot dogs. In the modern age of the Minnesota State Fair where “New Foods” reign supreme, choosing to sit here feels downright contrarian.
A teenage girl with a brace-toothed smile takes our order. We ask her how long the place has been around. She and her T-shirt both tell us they’ve been serving the fair since 1962. When she mentions she’s actually the great granddaughter of the owner, we must know more. We ask her great grandmother’s name. She pauses, blushing. “I should probably know that, right?”
Yes, probably, but who are we to judge? We’re just thrilled to hear that her great grandmother (Beverly Bahr is her name, by the way) is in the kitchen doing food prep. We go back and find her, at 90 years old, stacking square slices of American cheese for all the burgers and grilled cheese sandwiches they’ll be cranking out today.
Beverly says she and husband Levi, who passed away about a year and a half ago, opened the place. “He was a bit of an entrepreneur.” They also opened the Mexican Hat and the Italian Junction, which are both still operated by family. And indeed, this feels like a family affair. Traci, one of the granddaughters, tells us she comes out to the Fair and works a few days every year. So does her sister. Most of the running of the place is handled by family and a few friends with little outside help.
While we eat solid renditions of a Grilled Ham and Cheese and Fries ($15) and Biscuits and Sausage Gravy ($8 for ½ order), a woman on the stool next door tells us she’s been coming here for 30 years. “I bring my grandkids every year.” She nods to a young kid next to her. “They’re starting to get expensive.” Having stalked the prices during our New Foods tour earlier, we felt her pain. Hard to call $15 for a grilled ham and cheese and fries cheap, but by today’s State Fair prices, we chalk that up as a bargain.
The Lunch Box isn’t built for the “New Foods” crowd. It exists for a different reason. It exists to serve people looking for a respite from the stunt cuisine and long lines. It exists to serve Fair workers who come in for the morning sustenance supplied by a comforting dish of biscuits and gravy. But most of all, it exists. And that in itself feels important.
We accept that the State Fair is a never-ending evolution. We accept that there have been, and always will be, updates. We believe progress is generally good.* But there are those times when a new building pops up and—like a dog recognizing a change to its routine—our hackles are raised. And we think to ourselves. Wasn’t this something else? This is different, right?
We may never identify what exactly changed, and things will assuredly move on. But still a loss is felt in the universe.
Which is all to say, maybe skip one of the New Foods this year and get a burger at The Lunch Box. Let’s not let another piece of State Fair history slip away.
*FOOTNOTE: Though we will never, ever forgive Vescio’s for having the audacity to rebrand their booth to “Fried Ravioli” and then proceed to eliminate the jalapeño cheese variety from their menu. It was inarguably their best version of fried ravioli and a cornerstone of our State Fair food recommendations for years. Bring it back.
THIS OR THAT: STATE FAIR 2024
By Jeanne Lakso
Heavy Table’s Wrecking Crew works hard every year to help fairgoers navigate the plethora of options for spending your finite cash resources and utilizing your available gut space. For my part, I’ve matched up pairs and one trio of Fair foods that share a key ingredient, a theme, a format, or a vibe, and played a little solo game of “this or that.” Try something new or grab a classic? Should tots be a garnish or the main attraction? Is that really worth $12? Read on.
WHO WORE IT BETTER?
Lady Slipper Marble Sundae vs. Swedish Ice Cream Sundae
Sundaes are summertime classics, but like a little black dress, it’s the accessories that can take a dish of ice cream from “basic” to “bespoke.” This first round of “this or that” pits Bridgeman’s Lady Slipper Marble Sundae against the Swedish Ice Cream Sundae at Salem Lutheran Church Dining Hall.
The Lady Slipper Sundae ($10.50) is a substantial strawberry ice cream parfait, lashed with a tart and tasty lemon marshmallow cream. Crunchy (maybe too crunchy) ladyfinger cookies are stuck down the sides of the parfait, which is topped with a swirl of whipped cream and a cherry. There are actual strawberry halves in the ice cream, and the lemon cream nicely elevates the sundae.
But Salem Lutheran Church has created a supremely likable bowl of ice cream, and it’s just enough cheaper to feel like a real bargain, too. The Swedish Ice Cream Sundae ($8.50) is vanilla ice cream with a generous amount of punchy lingonberry jam spooned on, and then lots of ginger cookie crumbles. The heart-shaped ginger cookie on top makes it look as special as it tastes.
Several of us have a real affinity for good old Bridgeman’s and their always reliable ice cream, but if you only want one sundae, head for the Swedish Sundae. It’s like a box of delicious holiday cookies, jam, and ice cream at IKEA prices.
TOP TOTS
Dill Pickle Tots vs. Ba’Bacon Sour Cream & Onion
How did Tot Boss’s dill and vinegar-seasoned fried tots fare compared to Baba’s gussied-up, tot-topped hummus bowl? The dill tots are tasty and crispy with a generous amount of dill and vinegar flavor and at $8, fairly priced for this year’s Fair pricing. Overall sentiment, though, leaned towards “just okay.”
Baba’s use of sumac-dusted tots as an embellishment to a bowl of hummus decorated with onions and sour cream is a canny marriage of Tater Tot Hot Dish with Mediterranean mezze; add a quintet of warm, pillowy pita puffs for cosmopolitan comfort food. Even though the Ba’Bacon Sour Cream & Onion Bowl rocked up at $14 and was initially delivered sans tots (staff were more than happy to provide a separate bowl of hot tots), it’s a creative presentation of Baba’s excellent hummus, and there’s plenty for two. Sit at a picnic table, scoop up sweetly browned onions onto a pita puff, and then swirl a tot or two in hummus.
SWEET FRIED DOUGH
Afro Poppers vs Cookie Butter Crunch Mini Donuts
Comparing Afro Deli’s Afro Poppers to Mini Donuts & Cheese Curds’ Cookie Butter Crunch Mini Donuts pits vanilla-flavored donuts and Biscoff cookie butter on one side against a spice blend, coconut, and a choice of drizzle including mango chutney on the other.
In the end, the Afro Poppers failed to deliver the promised spice blend of cardamom, ginger, cloves, and nutmeg and instead came across as slightly sad donut holes sprinkled with coconut flakes.
The Biscoff cookie butter mini donuts had several things going for them, starting with the spot-on flavor in the cookie butter drizzled on the warm donuts (“it tastes like I’m in the Delta Sky Club”) and the silly but fun addition of a Biscoff cookie crumb rim on the bucket. For $12 you get a bucket of cookie-dusted vanilla mini donuts big enough to share, or for $6, a few uninspiring, under-spiced donut holes. Sometimes it’s worth paying more.
BLAZING, RAGING, VEGAN
Blazing Bites vs. Raging Balls
The battle of the deep-fried vegan junk food between venerable vendor Dino’s Gyros and relative newcomer Herbivorous Butcher pits Dino’s Blazing Bites against the Butcher’s Raging Balls. Which one’s a blob of bliss, and which one is just…a blob? Well, neither. The savory mochi that makes up the largest part of Herbivorous Butcher’s Raging Ball is mostly about the sticky chewy texture, so the addition of vegan cheezeburger mixture and crunchy sesame seeds help elevate this into something multilayered.There’s just one ball for $14, but to be fair, it is a big-ass ball and it’s unlike anything else at the Fair.
Dino’s Blazing Bites ($8) are deep fried hummus with tomato, red pepper, and cayenne, served with a spicy sauce. They weren’t exactly blazing, but there was some spice. They weren’t quite crispy, nor were they a delicious bite.The filling had a definite bitter aftertaste that might have been baking powder, or cornstarch, possibly chickpea flour. Honestly though, I’d rather have a pickle on a stick than either of these.
THE TIM WALZ ROUND: HAIL TO THEE, OUR STATE SO DEAR
Swedish ‘Sota Sliders vs. Ham and Pickle Rollups on a Potato Skin vs. Turkey Kristo
We know he’s the hot dish (or hotdish) king, but where might the governor of our Fair state stand on a choice of wild rice meatball sliders with all the Scandi trimmings, turkey sando with multiple Minnesota-sourced ingredients, or a twist on Minnesota sushi?
Hamline Church Dining Hall is offering cranberry wild rice meatball sliders decked with dill Havarti, beet relish, onions, peppers, lingonberries, and cranberries. Did they miss the boat by not wrapping them in lefse? Maybe. Some of the tasters decried the mediocre quality of the bun, but at a church dining hall price of $10 for a flavor-packed pair of Swedish heritage-themed sliders, I think Tim would like these just fine.
Route 66 Roadhouse Chicken’s Ham and Pickle Roll-ups on a Potato Skin, on the other hand, were roundly decried: “bad stoner snack using whatever’s in the back of the fridge,” and “gives off a real Lunch Lady vibe” are sadly apt descriptions for three hollowed-out potato husks, teeny cubes of processed ham, with one bite of pickle each. Maybe they were going for Wisconsin sushi. At $8.75, they would make former high school teacher Tim a little bit salty. Uffda.
But it was the Farmers Union Turkey Kristo that won the day. It’s a version of a classic Monte Cristo sandwich that eliminates the ham and lets the Ferndale Market sliced turkey take pride of place. Besides the turkey, there’s Minnesota-made Pan O’Gold Texas toast, CannonBelles white cheddar, and apple butter from local apples. Dredged in egg, fried, and made extra Minnesota nice with a snowy dusting of powdered sugar, this was one of the best things I ate all day. The $16 price tag is a bit high, but hey, support our Minnesota farmers!
DEEP FRIED CHEESES: CLASSIC OR CONTENDER
Deep Fried Halloumi Cheese vs. Mouthtrap Cheese Curds
If you didn’t eat fried cheese, did you even go? Mouthtrap’s cheese curds are generally recognized as the best on the fairgrounds, but perhaps Holy Land Deli is offering a challenger this year with their deep fried halloumi. Or so we thought. Holy Land does a whole lot of things right but fried halloumi cheese in a wonton-like wrapper with some chili sauce on the side was just kind of okay. And for $10, we expected more.
Just like last year and the year before, the $8 paper boat of Mouthtrap cheese curds sailed down our collective gullets very, very quickly and those of us who got several curds stuck together in a gooey-crispy wodge felt very lucky. Sometimes a perennial favorite really is one for a damn good reason.
IS IT FRUIT?
Strawberries & Cream Waffle Stick vs. Strawberry Lemonade Donut
Short answer: not really, in both cases. Waffle Chix Strawberries and Cream Waffle Stick ($10) is all about the waffle, which is filled with some strawberry preserves, rolled around a stick, fried, and drizzled liberally with creme and strawberry sauce. It’s a sugar bomb. We would have liked it better filled with salty breakfast sausage crumbles and a lot less sweet drizzle.
Fluffy’s Hand-Cut Donuts really should have started heating up that deep-fat fryer a whole lot earlier because the Strawberry Lemonade Donut ($10 for one) we got was just barely past raw inside, and the promised strawberry lemonade crunch, gummy candy, and freeze dried strawberry all tasted like chemicals and Sucralose. Get a peach at the Produce Exchange.
WHICH NEW ICE CREAM TREAT IS RIGHT FOR YOU?
By Stacy Brooks
State Fair food prices have become mind-bogglingly high, and it feels increasingly risky to branch out from the tried-and-true. We’re here to help with a handy quiz to analyze your preferences and determine which of this year’s official new ice cream treats is right for you.
1. What’s your favorite state fair attraction?
A) Ye Olde Mill, for the nostalgia
B) Sling Shot, for the thrills
C) Butterfly House, for the whimsical photo opportunities
D) Butter Sculptures, for the wackiness
2. Which state fair competition would you like to enter?
A) Canned & Preserved Foods, to be part of a long tradition of canning excellence
B) Barrel Racing, to do something exciting
C) Needlecraft, to crochet a cute toy
D) Crop Art, to make a political statement using dried seeds
3. What’s your favorite savory State Fair food?
A) A Pronto Pup, you can’t beat the classics
B) Trinidadian doubles from Harry Singh’s, I need some heat
C) French fries, that overflowing bucket looks as good as it tastes
D) Pickle pizza, I gravitate to unique flavors
4. What will you be wearing to the State Fair?
A) A T-shirt depicting State Fair mascots Fairchild and Fairborne
B) My trendiest outfit
C) A color-coordinated, tasteful ensemble
D) Something eccentric, like a flower crown or hot dog costume
If you answered…
Mostly As: Swedish Ice Cream Sundae ($8) from Salem Lutheran Church Dining Hall
You love the tradition and nostalgia of the State Fair, so celebrate Salem Lutheran Church Dining Hall’s 75th anniversary with an homage to the state’s Scandinavian heritage. The generous scoops of vanilla ice cream are topped with a tart blue ribbon-worthy lingonberry jam, and crumbled Swedish ginger cookies add crunch and an appealing warming flavor. Even the price feels like a throwback—at $8 for a shareable sundae, it was the cheapest ice cream treat we sampled.
Mostly Bs: Chile Mango Whip ($12) from Tasti Whip
You’re a fan of bold, thrilling experiences, and you like your food to have a kick. Tasti Whip’s newest mangonada-inspired offering doesn’t shy away from big flavors. The creamy mango Dole soft serve is a perfect base for the tart, sweet, and spicy flavors of the chamoy and Tajin, and this treat is both exciting and well-balanced.
Mostly Cs: Lady’s Slipper Marble Sundae ($10.50) from Bridgeman’s Ice Cream
You gravitate to the whimsical and photogenic, and this pastel-hued sundae pairs a cute reference to the state flower with a fun mix of flavors and textures. Bridgeman’s strawberry ice cream, lemon marshmallow cream, ladyfinger cookies, and whipped cream are carefully layered in a cup for a visually appealing and a joyful-tasting treat with bright lemon notes.
Mostly Ds: Sweet Corn Cola Float ($11) from Blue Moon Dine-in Theater
You’re an offbeat free spirit who doesn’t mind standing out—just like the Blue Moon’s newest menu item. Some Minnesotans may label this concoction “interesting” in a certain tone of voice. However, this float made with sweet corn cola and sweet corn ice cream is a true original, especially when you add the out-of-left field garnishes: a frozen caramel candy and Pop Rocks. Does it make sense? Not really. But that’s a huge plus in your book.
A combination of As, Bs, Cs, and/or Ds: Patata Frita Focacciawich ($12) from West End Creamery
You’re an eclectic type who likes to try a little bit of everything. The Patata Frita Focacciawich combines fluffy focaccia from Wrecktangle Pizza with a kettle chip-flavored ice cream created by Minnesota Dairy Lab, plus a topping of crushed kettle chips, herbs, and honey butter. The flavor combo is kind of odd—the sweetness of the ice cream and honey doesn’t really mesh with the herbs—and we’re not sure that focaccia is the best vehicle for ice cream, since it got soggy quickly. But if you like variety, this sweet and savory combo might work for you.
TRADITION WITH A TWIST
By Eli Radtke
We all have favorite fair flavors, the greased fried delights that we look forward to all year. Some flavors, though, are classics that are as Minnesotan as the fair itself. Each year, new twists on old favorites make their way into our hearts and stomachs through the colorful booths and stalls we know and love.
3 Piggy Pals On-A-Stick from Sausage Sisters & Me (a jalapeño popper-style grill twist) | $12
At 4 dollars for each “piggy pal”, this is a steep bite. I was skeptical, but these are worth it. The bacon was cooked perfectly, crispy enough for structure without being crumbly. The flavor of bacon wrapped sausage with the cream cheese and jalapeno was, as expected, incredible. While it’s not a huge value per bite, it was delicious and certainly worth the spend, unlike some other dishes we tried this year.
Ba’bacon Sour Cream + Onion from Baba’s Hummus (Riffing on the classic sour cream and onion) | $14
Go get this bowl. In a day full of heavy dishes that make your blood flow slower, this feels relatively light. This sour cream and onion hummus features dusted pita puffs, sumac tater tots and cream fraiche. The hummus delivers the flavor of the sour cream and onion without beating you over the face with it, and the creme fraiche was a lovely light touch that finished on a creamy note. The sumac tater tot was the perfect “cherry” on top. Another hit for Baba’s. $14 is steep, but put on your inflation pants because it’s par for the course this year.
Swedish Sota Sliders from Hamline Church Dining Hall (Swedish meatballs, anyone?) | $10
Just like smelling the crockpot full of succulent meatballs, this sandwich matches that energy. The patties themselves are the Swedish meatball meat, with a havarti dill cheese slice and lingonberry/cranberry/onion pickle relish. This slider combo (you get two of them) reminds me of a thanksgiving sandwich you make with all your favorite pieces of the dinner. The meatball patty was incredibly smooth, with that creamy texture that Swedish meatballs bring to mind, and the dill havarti slice added the perfect tang to go with the pickled veggies. The only thing that would have made this better was the bun, which was stale and didn’t have much flavor at all. Excellent bang for your buck here, though.
Dill Pickle Tots from Tot Boss (Dill pickles and tater tots? What’s not to love?) | $8
It’s hard to make a tater tot that is unlikeable, and Tot Boss upholds that tradition. Combining the crowd favorite of tater tots with a lovely dill pickle spice. These were great, and didn't blow any expectations out of the water, though. Hot take, I think the Sumac tater tots from Baba’s slightly edged out the tots from the Tot Boss.
Lady Slipper Marble Sundae from Bridgeman’s Ice Cream (Classic sundae twist! Again!) | $10.50
Bridgeman’s has consistently put out some of the better ice-cream creations that have been at the state fair. While I think I still prefer their “gray duck” from a few years ago (Black Licorice sundae!) This was a great entry. Layered strawberry ice cream, lemon marshmallow sauce, lady finger cookies topped with whip and a cherry was a fun twist on a neapolitan-like sundae. I thought the lady fingers could have been a little softer, and overall it was pretty sweet, but a refreshing sundae for those looking for it.
Deep-Fried Ranch Dressing from Lulu’s Public House | $12
LISTEN. When this was first announced, I thought there was no way this was going to be good. After waiting 30 minutes (yes, the line was that long, it was the hot item of this fair!) the four fried triangles, complete with cry-baby craig infused hot honey, were surprisingly good. It’s not liquid ranch, and it shades more towards rangoon, but the cream-cheese style stuffing had ranch flavor galore, and the hot honey was a really nice heat and sweet combo to go with the crunchy, ranchy dumpling. Worth the wait, in my opinion.
NOT PART OF THE TRADITION:
Shroomy Calamari from French Meadow | $12
French Meadow had quite the line for its newest menu item, which had quite the wait when they had to flash-fire another batch. Oyster mushrooms, while delicious, didn’t quite capture the texture or taste that Calamari brings to the table. The breading on the mushrooms was delightfully spicy, though, and it really complimented the umami of the oyster mushrooms. The dipping sauce felt like a chipotle ranch that you could find in any brewpub, but the “Calamari” itself was delicious, even if it didn’t emulate calamari that well. For $12 dollars, I might not run the risk you won’t like it, but I think it’s a fun entry in new food for French Meadow!
STATE FAIR HAIKUS
By Amy Rea
We arrive hungry,
Iron digestive systems.
This: our Olympics.
Average prices
Up around 14 dollars?
It makes us cranky.
The hotdish of Spain
Wowed us all, not least because
Spain would hate that term.
How much is too much
To spend on the deep-fried ranch?
Less than 12 dollars.
Does the state fair need
Buffalo cheese curd tacos?
Yes. Lord: praised, ranch: passed.
Sweet corn cola float
With real dairy ice cream but
nondairy whipped cream? Why?
For whatever you think this is applicable to:
No no no no no.
No no no no no no no.
No no no hell no.
THE PAUSE THAT REFRESHES
By Louis Livingston-Garcia
Covering drinks this year was an interesting one. While there were a lot of new beers and beer adjacent drinks, it seemed like a downer year in the creativity department. Sure, Lift Bridge had over 20 new drinks, but there seemed to be a lack of presence Minnesota State Beers are known for.
However, there were some winners, especially in the refreshing department. And while these drinks are mostly alcoholic ones that are refreshing, I had to add two NA options as they were too good not to rave about. And there is one fire beer I had to warn you about, because, it wasn’t refreshing or good.
Pina Ciderlada | Giggles Campfire Grill | $6.25 for 12 oz.
The first drink of the day was one of the best. A refreshing combo of sweet apple cider and ample pineapple provided a fruity combo. And while my wife picked it up more than me, the hint of coconut added another layer of depth to one of my favorite fair drinks and ciders in recent memory.
Cotton Candy Iced Tea | Loon Lake Iced Tea | $7
This tea was not overly sweet, but had a nice cotton candy flavor rooted through some proper herbal tea (butterfly pea flower). It came with a tart piece of rock candy that made us think it was lemonade instead of tea, and taking it out for our son to have made the drink darn near perfect. The edible glitter also gave it a nice visual.
Strawberry Daiquiri Slushy | Ball Park Cafe | $10
Life Bridge has over 20 drinks at the State Fair, which is kind of wild. This and the Mango Tango are at the Ball Park Cafe. The Strawberry Daiquiri won’t blow your mind if you’ve ever had an actual one, but the six percent ABV and sweet strawberry are still satisfying. The consistency was great, but it was a little watery right away in a day that wasn’t warm, so I wonder how long it will last in some true State Fair heat.
Purple Maize | Summit on a Stick and Shanghai Henri’s | $7 for 12 oz.
This lager is a beautiful purple color fitting in with the food and drink goofiness you’d expect at the fair. But rather than be something wild like grape- or candy-flavored, the lager is clean, bready, and featured a solid backbone of corn. Honestly, I would have had a couple of these if I wasn’t on assignment. It’s a dang good corn lager matching Summit’s usual pedigree.
Mustard Stain IPA | The Coliseum | $6 for 12 oz.
I was excited for this, but the mustard IPA is neither refreshing nor good. It’s a pithy beer that doesn’t have any shades of mustard flavor you’d find in Wisconsin’s Mustard Museum. It’s mostly a bitter beer with maybe tangy mustard. If you want to be refreshed, stay away from this. You’re better off eating packets of actual mustard and then slamming water.
Mudslide | Coasters | $10
Another Lift Bridge concoction, this mudslide comes in at six percent and is a very filling sweet dessert with loads of chocolate and coffee. It might not be refreshing if you plan on eating much else at the fair, but it’s cold, sweet without being cloying, and has a nice depth that made me think mudslide latte. We chucked the edible chocolate straw.
Tropical Fruit Smoothie IPA | Andy’s Grille | $7 for 12 oz.
A sweet and easy drinking but quickly cloying IPA. I am putting it on the list as a refreshing choice, but your mileage will vary with the sweetness. Instead of fruit, think… candy. It’s made with marshmallow, so this tracks. It isn’t chewy like a hazy, so it doesn’t fill you as quickly, but if sweet isn’t your thing, steer clear. Alas, the beer is not pink as advertised.
Dual Citizen A Hazy Shade | Blue Barn | $8 for 12 oz.
New Zealand hops bring forth a lot of stone fruit and sweet mandarin orange in this IPA. It won’t win any best-of awards, but it cut nicely into the sweet and salty cheeseburger waffle I had with it. Just a no-frills hazy IPA with tasty New Zealand hops. Also: Blue Barn’s prices seem high for no real reason.
Surly Hazy Days IPA Indeed Firecracker Cream Ale | LuLu’s Public House | | $7 each for 12 oz.
The Surly hazy IPA was my goal, but I didn’t quite enjoy it. However, I grabbed the new Firecracker Cream Ale from Indeed, and it continues the brewery’s ability to make some flavorful, gimmicky cream ales like its pistachio beer. It’s all bomb pop at first, with subtly sweet blue raspberry and sweet lime, and then it fades into a subtle malty cream ale. Cream ales are great with adjuncts, and Indeed is showing their skill at utilizing this style.
Peanut Butter Honey Cream Soda Float | Minnesota Honey Producers Association | $11
Another NA option, and made with soda Urban Growler made, this was peanut butter and honey heaven. It reminded my wife and I of peanut butter cereals of our youth, and it was possibly the best thing we drank that day. A frothy, lovely float.
FRESH FAIR FARE
By Stacy Brooks
Despite the State Fair’s reputation for deep-fried stuff on a stick and overflowing buckets of cookies, several of this year’s official new foods took a different approach, embracing fresh ingredients and eschewing the deep fryer. Here’s how the new fresh fair fare ranked, both in terms of freshness and satiation—when you’re spending your hard-earned cash, you want it to abate your hunger and satisfy your taste buds.
Marco’s Garden, Jammy Sammies by BRIM ($14)
The presentation was lovely: a bowl of farmer cheese topped with thyme-marinated local cherry tomatoes, local rhubarb jam, jalapeno, and honey, plus some artfully charred gluten-free pita wedges perched at the edge. The tomatoes tasted fresh from the garden (or if you share my brown thumb, your CSA box) and the spritely rhubarb jam is more tart than sweet, which worked well in this savory application. There was just a hint of heat from the jalapeño, and the farmer cheese made for a tasty base. The problem: there was very little food for the price tag. This wouldn’t satiate a toddler, much less a full-sized fairgoer who just shelled out $14.
Freshness factor: 5/5
Satiety rating: 1/5
Note: A vegan option is available, substituting thyme tofu dip and maple syrup for the cheese and honey. Gluten-free.
Ba’bacon Sour Cream & Onion, Baba’s ($14)
Baba’s hummus is consistently great—you could top it with nearly anything and I’d be happy, but the combo of beef bacon, creme fraiche, caramelized onions, scallions, cumin seeds, and chive oil made a familiar Midwestern flavor profile feel inspired and exciting.
The pita puffs tasted freshly baked, and the toppings seemed freshly prepared. Personally, I could’ve skipped the garnish of sumac tater tots—there’s enough going on here already and they weigh down the fresher ingredients. The portion size is decent and thanks to all of the different components, it feels like you’re getting a complete meal.
Freshness factor: 4/5
Satiety rating: 4/5
Note: If you leave off the bacon, this is vegetarian; leave off the pita puffs to make it gluten-free.
Savory Eclairs in Two Varieties, Scenic 61 by New Scenic Cafe ($12 for banh mi, $15 for lobster)
The toppings on these were fabulous—we ordered both the banh mi and lobster versions, and each came with a flurry of fresh vegetables and herbs, plus some tasty pickled carrot and daikon on the banh mi. The lobster was tender, and the pork confit and chicken liver pate provided a satisfying meaty flavor. Unfortunately, the eclair itself was tough, chewy, and slightly stale-tasting instead of delicate and crisp. Add in the high cost for the diminutive portion size, and this just wasn’t worth it.
Freshness factor: 3/5
Satiety rating: 2/5
Grilled Purple Sticky Rice, Union Hmong Kitchen ($10)
One of the greatest joys in my life is eating crunchy bits of sticky rice scraped from the bottom of the pot—here it is in chefed up, fairified form. The dense rectangle of grilled rice was topped with fresh herbs, a chili aioli, and a choice of shredded Hmong beef jerky or pickled mushrooms. The rice itself was perfect (it was served seconds after being pulled off the grill) and the generous garnish of fresh herbs was a spa treatment for my taste buds. However, there was so little chili aioli and Hmong beef jerky that their flavors were virtually undetectable. Union Hmong Kitchen’s other menu items, the galabao and coconut lychee colada, are real winners—if you want something fresh and satisfying, order those.
Freshness factor: 4/5
Satiety rating: 2/5
Note: The pickled mushrooms option is vegetarian. Gluten-free.
Mocha Madness Shave Ice, Minnesnowii Shave Ice ($10 plus $1 upgrade for snow cream topping)
Shave ice conjures up happy memories of Hawaiian vacations, eating mounds of fluffy snow lavishly dressed with fruity syrups and sweetened condensed milk. The Minnesnowii mocha version gets you part of the way there: the shave ice texture and the snow cream topping are on point. Then things start to go off the rails, with a coffee flavoring that doesn’t penetrate to the center of the shave ice (according to the item description there’s an “overflowing caramel macchiato cold foam center,” but I didn’t find it). The chocolate syrup is straight from a Hershey’s bottle and cloyingly sweet. That said, this was still a refreshing midday palate cleaner, and the portion was relatively generous.
Freshness factor: 1/5
Satiety rating: 3/5
Note: Gluten-free.
THE PORTABILITY REPORT
By Amy Rea
The Minnesota State Fair is one of those places where people carry food and drinks from place to place. Back in the heyday of food on a stick, everything was supposed to be portable. The fair has moved away from that (thankfully), but that also means there are increasingly a number of foods that may be worth eating, but not if you have to walk and chew them at the same time. Here are items we found required a stop-and-sit approach rather than a keep-strolling approach and our thoughts about whether they're worth the effort.
Marco's Garden ($14) from Jammys Sammies by BRIM. This turned out to be highly portable, as long as you have a fork. Creamy farmer cheese with hot pita. Surprisingly good (locally sourced) cherry tomatoes, and a hint of jalapeno made for a more sophisticated dish than we usually expect at the fair. Is it worth $14? Well. How do you value local tomatoes?
Savory Eclairs from Scenic 61. At $15 for the lobster roll, $12 for the banh mi, or $25 for both, this one added up. General reaction: The lobster roll was worth it (although some quibbled over the use of the eclair), the banh mi not as much. Portable? No. Sit down for this.
Swedish 'Sota Sliders ($10) from Hamline Dining Hall. Like any good burger (aka not Mickey D's), these would be hard to walk and eat. The price wasn't bad, and we're fond of the Hamline Dining Hall. Eat this in the hall.
O'Gara's Walking Shepherd's Pie ($10). We've been critical of O'Gara's in the past, and while this option isn't the best thing we tried on this visit, it rose above previous dishes. Bonus: Extremely portable and the value was good for four sizable chunks. Shareable and walkable.
Thai Peanut Pasta from Oodles of Noodles ($15 with shrimp). Pasta is inherently not portable. And the chairs and tables have been removed from the Food Building. So stand for this one, because it's well worth it.
Raging Ball ($14) from the Herbivorous Butcher. Flavor-wise, this was a bit divisive, with some liking the dim sum sesame ball approach while others found it way too weighted with vegan cheese. The name is a misnomer in that "raging" implies heat, and there is none. Some kimchi would have been nice. And it's a tough one to hack into while walking.
Fried Bee-nana Pie ($6, $8 with ice cream) from Sabino's. Walkable? No. Delicious? Yes. Worth standing around while eating? Abso-fricking-lutely.
WHAT WOULD WE BUY WITH OUR OWN MONEY?
By Amy Rea
For this visit, when food prices seemed sky-high, this seemed a most salient question: What would the Heavy Table team be willing to buy with funds from their own pockets? The list, as it turns out (perhaps not surprisingly), wasn't huge (at least compared to the list of things we tried).
The Turkey Kristo ($16) from the Farmers Union. We don't always agree on everything, but everyone raved about this better-than-expected Monte Cristo rendition. Bring it, Farmers Union.
Buffalo Cheese Curd Tacos ($14) from Richie's Cheese Curd Tacos. We loved the original cheese curd tacos. We loved the buffalo rendition. Hey, Richie–here's our money. Take it all. GIVE US MORE CHEESE CURD TACOS.
The newly established Loon Lake Iced Tea stand is selling a remarkably good Cotton Candy Yellow Pea Flower Iced Tea ($7). You’d think this would be sickeningly sweet, but you’d be wrong - it’s gentle, refreshing, light, and tastes vaguely of lavender.
Swedish Ice Cream Sundae ($8) from Salem Lutheran Church Dining Hall. Finally, a dish with a price point of less than two figures. And a damn good one at that. Soft ice cream, crispy ginger cookie, lingonberry jam–we'll have another, please.
Lady's Slipper Marble Sundae ($10.50) from Bridgeman's. Let's give it up for Bridgeman's, the sleeper success of ice cream treats at the fair. So often the description sounds ho-hum. So often the reality defies description. Ladyfingers with strawberry ice cream and lemon marshmallow creme? Yes, yes yes yes.
Thai Peanut Pasta from Oodles of Noodles ($15 with shrimp). Dang. Actual heat, slightly beyond Minnesota nice, and more than just peanut flavor. The heat builds in the best way, and the shrimp are properly cooked and ably seasoned. Is this available outside of the fair?
Dill Pickle Tots ($8) from Tot Boss. Crispy, full of dill, salty, like the best possible dill pickle potato chip. Craveable, perfect as a snack on their own or as a side to a sandwich or salad.
Pink Guava Slushie ($7) from Holy Land Deli. Tangy and sweet, refreshing, and perfect for a day at the fair.
THE PRICE OF PROGRESS
By Eli Radtke
Charles and his brother walked down the muddy path towards the grandstand. Last year they had put in electricity, so the streets were brilliantly lit as the sun went down.
“We won’t ever have to go home now!” Charles laughed, the familiar sights of the fair taking on new splendor in the dusk.
“It’s delightful what these new technologies can do. By the time we’re old, I dare say we won’t have to walk at all, we’ll simply fly over the attractions!” Edmund said, spreading his arms like wings and spinning around the pathway.
“Flying people? You’ve lost your mind, brother. The future can’t be nearly that strange,” Charles said, gesturing towards the popcorn tent, digging around in his pocket for a nickel. He had worked all day on the neighbor’s yard to earn some pocket money, and he wasn’t going to let Edmund’s fancies distract him from what was really important about the fair: The food. They chased each other towards the grandstand, weighing which farmers were bound to have the sweetest corn, or what treasures they were sure to find as they made their way through the muddy streets.
“Edmund, keep up. The lights may give us more time but they will kindly ask us to be on our way eventually.” He had stopped in the middle of the street, and pointed towards a shabby-looking tent tucked behind some wagons and a few livestock pens.
“Why should we wonder about the future, brother, when we can see it for ourselves?”
Madame Astrid’s tent was filled with smoke. After some fighting, Edmund had convinced Charles to spend his hard-earned 10 cents to see if her claims of magic and future-sight were true. The table was strewn with gilded cards, and from the back, she emerged, a lit cigarette casting illumination on her sly smile.
“What do you wish to see?”
“W-well we were wondering, my brother and I, that is, if we could see the future.” Charles felt stupid, but being out after dark with a mysterious stranger had his hair on end.
“Madame Astrid has seen many futures, if you wish to speak to spirits, you must be more specific.” She sat down, gesturing to two seats across from a large ball made of glass, distorting Charle’s and Edmund’s faces.
“We would like to see the future of the fair!” Edmund said quickly, his voice rising an octave higher than a boy his age would like to admit. “What will it be like, now that we have electricity?”
Madame Astrid smiled at the dimes the boys had put on the table, swiping them into her robe in the same motion she began to wave her hands around the ball. The tent began to grow dimmer, and the smoke seemed to dance around the boy’s shoes. “I see a great gathering of people. The grounds will continue to grow, attracting visitors from near and far. They dance, nearly naked from booth to booth, gorging themselves on the bounty of the land” Madame Astrid’s voice had become a drone, and the boys saw in the ball, a vision of thousands walking in neon clothes, streets made of stone and smoke rising from booths made entirely of light.
“What of the animals? And the grandstand?” Charles asked.
“Horses draw lacquered carts around arenas, crowds cheering, while beasts of inordinate size are ogled by strange city folk. Magicians use instruments chained to boxes, amplifying their sound tenfold, bending fire and light to their will.”
Edmund gasped, the silhouettes of men and women backlit by columns of fire, and so much light! Both brothers leaned forward, drinking in this vision.
“And what of the food?” Charles whispered.
“Dishes beyond your wildest dreams from every corner of the state, country and world simmer and bubble, ready at a moment's notice. Fire leaps from steel, and the people pay handsomely for small samples.”
Charles shook his head. “Handsomely for small samples? That hardly seems fair. How handsomely?”
“It appears many of these dishes are advertised at $12.”
The brothers were silent. Then, they both burst out laughing. “For those small portions? They would pay two months rent?” Charles said, holding his side. “I told you she was making it all up, brother. Why would anyone pay that much for a meal, let alone a snack?”
“Maybe if you were to buy this wizard’s stand itself!” Edmund laughed, getting up.
“Oh, or maybe just give the chaps a gold nugget while you are at it, for an ale!” Charles got up, opening the tent for his brother and shaking his head at Madame Astrid.
“I must admit, I admire your imagination! Quite the show,” Edmund said over his shoulder.
Madame Astrid huffed, crossing her arms as the boys walked towards a lit sign advertising “Kettle Corn, 10 cents!” They never believed her, she didn’t even know why she tried anymore.
OUR TEAM
This State Fair expedition is always a bear, and we're lucky to have a tremendous crew of eaters (and writers, and photographers, and draw-ers) - to help us get it done. We're incredibly grateful to our crew, including Stacy Brooks, M.C. Cronin, Becca Dilley, Jeanne Lakso, Louis Livingston-Garcia, Sarah McGee, James Norton, Eli Radtke, Amy Rea, Lilly St. Laurent, and WACSO. Thanks to special guests Brandi Brown, Aaron Landry, and Brett Sundell for joining the crew.
HERE'S THAT SECRET TRACK FOR YOU: PAELLA
Chicken and Sausage Paella | Paella Depot | $14
Paella! Who would've thought that this Valencian rice dish would absolutely crush it in a fair setting. But Paella Depot goes the whole nine yards, with huge pans on burners cranking out mega-sized servings of the stuff. The bowl we got was hot, delightfully crunchy and crackly on the bottom, and loaded with flavor and tender bits of chicken and sausage.
We (the Dilley-Norton family) actually make paella at home with a special paella-rig, so we have strong feelings about how to execute this beloved national dish. Paella Depot, amid the chaos and craziness of the Fair, is doing a terrific job of executing on a challenging brief.
Don’t sleep on Paella Depot’s Aguas Fresca, either - really tasty, and not too hard on the eyes, either.
